back to school...

This entry's a little delayed... was written last tuesday.. but never got round to finishing it or posting it.. cos.. yeah.. fell ill again... so i guess the title isn't all that appropriate now... since i'm out of school for a bit again.. sigh... if there was a hell or purgatory of archi school i'd be burning there for all eternity... for committing the most cardinal sin on the face of this earth.. missing school for a week.. then two days.. and counting... *sigh* just hope noone else in studio's as ill as me... God bless me.... I need to get through this....


Being ill the past week's been.... well.. for lack of a better word. a blessing.

Okay. So i had a high fever that practically lasted 5days. And a brain that was permanently plagued by migrain and had to force potassium citrate down my oesophagus and a stomach that constantly threatened to (and did to completion, several times) hurl and a body and teeth that shivered and chattered uncontrollably.

The thing is... it really was a blessing. i was so well taken care of last week i almost didn't wanna return to school this week. i had no idea i was this lucky, having people who took such good care of me.... i'm happy. :)

So. Despite the truckloads of work there is to be done, and the troubles that circle about in my little head, and the notion that at some point, the sky really might fall on me.... i'm happy. thanks to you.

These two songs were playing last night[monday night] ... and i can't stop thinking about them.. so i've decided to share it...

Thank You by Dido

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me
That it's not so bad
It's not so bad

I drank too much last night
Got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there
They'll all imply that I might not last the day
And then you call me
And it's not so bad
It's not so bad

And I
Want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Oh
Just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last
And I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel
And all I see is you
And even if my house falls down now
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me

And I
Want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Oh
Just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life


The Way You Look At Me by Christian Bautista

Noone ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up to
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything
Without a single word

'Cause there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I'll never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

If I could freeze a moment in my mind
It'll be the second that you put your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock, make time stand still
'Cause baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel

'Cause there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I'll never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

I don't know
How or why
I feel different in your eyes
All I know
Is it happens every time

'Cause there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I'll never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

The way you look at me

wish i had a pansieve..

I guess the appeal of Harry Potter are all the magical ways of dealing (or not having to deal) with 'muggle' problems... I could really use a pansieve now... the amount of thoughts filling my little head.... but instead, i'm left to fend for myself, having to deal with them the way humans do... it almost amazes me though.. how such a small head like mine can hold so many different thoughts about various things all at once... no wonder i'm constantly having such bad headaches... bet it's overloaded... :p

then there's the issue of blogs.. where blogs are traditionally meant to act almost like pansieves do i guess... a platform for thoughts to be written out so as to be easily sorted? but that's not really how it's done is it? i mean... there are just SOME thoughts and feelings that can never be publicised like that... some things just can't be said and put on display for the world... no wonder some blogs are so cryptic.... but how does one ensure the relevant people understand what we want them to? and that others don't..?

so then that leads us to diaries/journals.. more private and personal... intimate almost... where we can share our innermost thoughts, worries, fears..... with 'one' who never judges or criticises.. nor in fact ever reacts/responds... where we can be who we really are and bare all... and even if someone were to read it all one day, it'd just be a reflection of a past you... and obviously, we all hope we've somehow grown and learnt from the past......

i really hope i've grown and learnt from my past...

it could be that me turning 21 this year is what's resulting in my being so pensive and contemplative of late.... that i'm almost constantly reflecting on what i've done in the past and what i'm doing presently... almost trying to think some sense into myself? i don't know... now i just seem to be ranting on about nonsense.. bleah.... :p

you're right... i think too much for my own good....

i'll signoff with lyrics of two songs.... one's for you... the other.. i just like alot.... and kinda reflects my mood of late....

Your Song by Brian Mcknight

Whenever we're alone
I get beside myself
Can't wait till you get home
It's you and noone else

When I look into your eyes
I see
This is more than just a dream
And everyday it grows
And I know
To be this is what's meant
The way I feel for you
There's no need to pretend

Just sorry it took so long
Well baby
Here's your song

I live for your laughter
Your happiness is all I'm after
Everytime you go away
You take a little piece of me with you

I long to see the sunlight on
Your face
You're the only thing in my life I can't replace
When it feels this right it can't be wrong

Just sorry it took so long
Well baby
Here's your song
Here's your song

It might be hard for you to sing along
Well baby
Here's your song


Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick

2am and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticise
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
Noone can find the rewind button, girl
So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe
Just breathe
Oh breathe
Just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
'Just a day,' he said down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
Here in town you can tell he's been down for awhile
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it

'Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
Noone can find the rewind button, boys
So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe
Just breathe
Oh breathe
Just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made
You'll just make them again
If you'll only try turning around

2am and I'm still awake writing this song
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to

But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
Noone can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand

Yeah breathe
Just breathe
Oh breathe
Just breathe
Oh breathe
Just breathe

grey skies...

4am on a saturday morning and i've no idea why i'm still pretty alert.. this past second week of term has been... well.. as productive as the first week i guess... cadding's actually going pretty alright.. (yes.. amazing i know.. it must REALLY be idiot-proof since i can use it.. :p)

has it ever crossed your minds how fascinating it is that the mind and heart can be so... detached.. for some people and totally sync-ed for others? i wonder how it feels to be able to compartmentalise one's feelings and thoughts.... personally, i've been known to be a messy mesh of everything, all that goes on in my mind and heart all just get thrown into a huge grey cement mixer and the end result is me...... an unsightly mess sometimes, simple grey blob other times.... but definitely not being able to separate cement from sand once mixed...... okay... maybe i'm missing BU too much.. this sem's BU module's got no math at all it's INFURIATING. :( *sigh*

anyway, a few more updates from the last entry.. and a few KEEN observations i've made.. :p

1. i'm a scalebar employee!! tuesdays 1200-1400hrs :)

2. fridays are my black days. (not in terms of mood.. in terms of colour....)

3. forensic science ain't worth the 700points. (it's fun but only cos dom paul and i are highly entertaining people to begin with... *cheeky grin*)

4. breathe 2am by anna nalick is a lovely song but sucks for public performances!! :(

5. shockwave's got a really cool new game.. carrie the caregiver (for baby-lovers who loved diner dash/cake mania.. :p)

6. there's no limit to the amount of florida's natural cranberry grapefruit juice that can be consumed... by me at least. :)

7. everyone should try peanut butter and bananas on toast. *swoon* (note: silent swoon since vocal cords/throat incapacitated due to peanut butter........:p)

8. as miss smith will cheerfully tell you, a teenager is anything that ends with "teen".. ("i'm three.. but i'm thirteen.. so i'm a teenager.. because there's a 'teen'.. twelve is not a teenager but 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 are teenagers.. so i'm a teenager..") she is SUCH AN AMAZINGLY CLEVER LITTLE COOKIE. i told her that ONCE. cos she asked if i was a teenager.. had a bit of difficulty initially.. explaining to her i was already 20.. (yes.. difficulty due to nonapparent 20-ness of me.....) and thus, no longer a teenager.... this got her replying with a "but i'm a teenager right?".... thus my simple explanation of what a teenager is... :p simple but.. straightforward and pretty much captures the essence of it no? :p

i miss her.

9. chicken curry without coconut milk is for pansies! :) chicken curry is lovely....? :p

10. (last one already.. i promise!!) *clears throat* (silently again.. cos still suffering aftereffects of peanut butter bananas toast... :p) brace yourselves......

panadol extra taken without water tastes like industrial waste. even with serng buey to follow up..... :(

that's the brief update for this week... :) i'll leave you with lyrics to a song i've lost contact with for years... and i really mean YEARS... love the chorus.....

We Could Be Together by Debbie Gibson
this is for all you old people... :p

If I were an only child
I would be a lonely child
But baby we've got nothing to lose
I'm standing tall in my own shoes
I'll take this chance
I'll make this choice
I'll right this wrong
I'll raise my voice
If it means
We'll be together
For a while

I have never had a doubt
But for you I'll take time out
I'll push his love far away from me
And then I'll be completely free
I'll give up my security
For just the possibility
That we could be together
For a while

If you said 'Jump!' I'd say 'How high?'
If you said 'Run!' I'd run and fly
Just for the chance
Just for the moment
Should the moment pass us by
And if you ask once I'll tell you twice
I'll ignore the world's advice
If we could be together
For a while

I am taken by your strength
I've thought about it at great length
I thought that I was happy now
But there are things that I found out
Happiness means greater things
I'll sit here 'til the tel'phone rings
Then we could be together
For a while

If you said 'Jump!' I'd say 'How high?'
If you said 'Run!' I'd run and fly
Just for the chance
Just for the moment
Should the moment pass us by
And if you ask once I'll tell you twice
I'll ignore the world's advice
If we could be together
For a while

Wait'll I tell my guy (wait'll I tell)
Wait'll I tell my other friends
They'll all think I'm crazy
And ya know what
That depends
'Cos I'm crazy in love
With you
And everyone's best won't do
They'll say my hopes
Will not come true
But I'm taking the chance
Because you only live once
Only live once (only live once)

And

If you said 'Jump!' I'd say 'How high?'
If you said 'Run!' you know I'd fly
Just for the chance
Just for the moment
Should the moment pass us by
And if you ask once I'll tell you twice
I'll ignore the world's advice
If we could be together
For a while

There are no guarantees
But if it means
There's even a possibility
Then I'll give up whatever it takes
I know I've made mistakes before
It may be just another closed door
But we could be together
For a while

If you said 'Jump!' I'd say 'How high?'
If you said 'Run!' I'd run and fly
Just for the chance
Just for the moment
Should the moment pass us by
Ask me once I'll tell you twice
You know I'll ignore the world's advice
If we could be together
For a while

If you said 'Jump!' I'd say 'How high?'
If you said 'Run!' I'd run and fly
Just for the chance
Just for the moment
Should the moment pass us by
If you ask once I'll tell you twice
I'll ignore the world's advice
If we could be together
For a while

Don't you know that we could be together
For a while

it's been a long while...

do people still bother dropping by here?? anyhow, please be understanding and allow me some time to get back on track with this whole blogging thing.. :p have tonnes of photos to show.. if only i upload them quickly enough.. haha...

updates on life..

hmm.. there've been quite a few changes in my life... people coming and going, flying in and out constantly over the last month.. sisters coming and going.. val's got a new job appointment in hongkong.. (brilliant excuse to go there now.. :p).. nat's got her new car.. mini cabriolet, ash grey i think... affectionately named "Bug a bee"... :) cherrie's kinda moved out... semi... ish..

and me. same old.. architecture second year second semester... stress levels still hovering around the same insane level... health more or less still hanging in the balance.. just really miss performing..... anyone have any gigs they need vocals for?? *frantic waving of arm in a "pick me! pick me!" manner*

oh. and for those of you who haven't heard. :)
saffron's back.. for a couple of months too... :) she's such a funny genius... have a few photos of her since she's been back.. and in case you havent already noticed either, www.welovesaffron.blogspot.com has made a comeback.. :) go check it out.. there're more photos here too... http://s92.photobucket.com/albums/l1/fi787072/
okay... photo time.. :)

the most recent of my photos, taken with my new baby Loomy.... :p panasonic lumix FZ 7... as you can tell, i'm not very imaginative with names.. hahaha..:p this was us girls taking a break from the torrential (okay.. so not THAT torrential at that moment..) rain in the Green Room of Phase Z.Ro development... site visit...

hahaha... was looking through old photos on my laptop.. and came across this one.. one of the sentosa beach tanning outings we cool, hip and happening archi students decided to go on.. :p i miss the sun... oh sun, sun... where art thou sun.. :p

argh.... something screwy with the uploading of photos again. AGAIN. i swear... it's like... part of the system of things or something.. that technology always fails me.. or maybe i just really am what i am.. the ultimate ITdiot.. :) another time then... take care people....

back to my lyrics business.. :p one of my favourite songs.. not sure if i ever wrote it here... been listening to it recently.. might be performing it too!! yay!! enjoy.. :)

Why by Avril Lavigne

Why

Do you always do this to me

Why

Couldn't you just see it through me

How come

You act like this

Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe

I was the only one to fall

I can feel, I can feel you near me

Even though you're far away

I can feel, I can feel you baby

Why

It's not supposed to feel this way

I need you, I need you

More and more each day

It's not supposed to hurt this way

I need you, I need you, I need you

Tell me

Are you and me still together

Tell me

D'you think we can last forever

Tell me

Why

Hey

Listen to what we're not saying

Let's play

A different game than what we're playing

Try

To look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe

I'm gonna let us fall apart

I can feel, I can feel you near me

Even when you're far away

I can feel, I can feel you baby

Why

It's not supposed to feel this way

I need you, I need you

More and more each day

It's not supposed to hurt this way

I need you, I need you, I need you

Tell me

Are you and me still together

Tell me

D'you think we can last forever

Tell me

Why

So go on and think about

Whatever you need to think about

Go on and dream about

Whatever you need to dream about

And come back to me when you know just how you feel

You feel

I can feel, I can feel you near me

Even though you're far away

I can feel, I can feel you baby

Why

It's not supposed to feel this way

I need you, I need you

More and more each day

It's not supposed to hurt this way

I need you, I need you, I need you

Tell me

Are you and me still together

Tell me

D'you think we can last forever

Tell me

Why

wow.

oh my. I never thought i'd be able to get back to this blog.. i finally managed to find it by trying my luck with the multiple accounts warning they mentioned.. i never knew i had two accounts.. :p

so i'm back!!! and so's saffie heartthrob.. and so to start off with, here are just two lovely photos of the little girl at her 3rd birthday on the 12th of june 2006..


















it's been a crazy 2006... many changes.. many events.. but i guess what's important is that i try to start a new year fresh.. (attempting to.....) meet tiffany, a second year architecture student, hopefully new and improved...