wish i had a pansieve..

I guess the appeal of Harry Potter are all the magical ways of dealing (or not having to deal) with 'muggle' problems... I could really use a pansieve now... the amount of thoughts filling my little head.... but instead, i'm left to fend for myself, having to deal with them the way humans do... it almost amazes me though.. how such a small head like mine can hold so many different thoughts about various things all at once... no wonder i'm constantly having such bad headaches... bet it's overloaded... :p

then there's the issue of blogs.. where blogs are traditionally meant to act almost like pansieves do i guess... a platform for thoughts to be written out so as to be easily sorted? but that's not really how it's done is it? i mean... there are just SOME thoughts and feelings that can never be publicised like that... some things just can't be said and put on display for the world... no wonder some blogs are so cryptic.... but how does one ensure the relevant people understand what we want them to? and that others don't..?

so then that leads us to diaries/journals.. more private and personal... intimate almost... where we can share our innermost thoughts, worries, fears..... with 'one' who never judges or criticises.. nor in fact ever reacts/responds... where we can be who we really are and bare all... and even if someone were to read it all one day, it'd just be a reflection of a past you... and obviously, we all hope we've somehow grown and learnt from the past......

i really hope i've grown and learnt from my past...

it could be that me turning 21 this year is what's resulting in my being so pensive and contemplative of late.... that i'm almost constantly reflecting on what i've done in the past and what i'm doing presently... almost trying to think some sense into myself? i don't know... now i just seem to be ranting on about nonsense.. bleah.... :p

you're right... i think too much for my own good....

i'll signoff with lyrics of two songs.... one's for you... the other.. i just like alot.... and kinda reflects my mood of late....

Your Song by Brian Mcknight

Whenever we're alone
I get beside myself
Can't wait till you get home
It's you and noone else

When I look into your eyes
I see
This is more than just a dream
And everyday it grows
And I know
To be this is what's meant
The way I feel for you
There's no need to pretend

Just sorry it took so long
Well baby
Here's your song

I live for your laughter
Your happiness is all I'm after
Everytime you go away
You take a little piece of me with you

I long to see the sunlight on
Your face
You're the only thing in my life I can't replace
When it feels this right it can't be wrong

Just sorry it took so long
Well baby
Here's your song
Here's your song

It might be hard for you to sing along
Well baby
Here's your song


Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick

2am and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticise
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
Noone can find the rewind button, girl
So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe
Just breathe
Oh breathe
Just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
'Just a day,' he said down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
Here in town you can tell he's been down for awhile
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it

'Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
Noone can find the rewind button, boys
So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe
Just breathe
Oh breathe
Just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made
You'll just make them again
If you'll only try turning around

2am and I'm still awake writing this song
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to

But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table
Noone can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand

Yeah breathe
Just breathe
Oh breathe
Just breathe
Oh breathe
Just breathe