just some photos...

anything i can do to cheer myself up...

emotional fuckwittage

on a much less noble level of thought (self-absorption, to be more accurate) than my last entry... i have come to realise (high time i did too...) what an emotional fuckwit i am.

to quote one of my favourite fictional characters of all time... everything i do.. and allow myself to think or feel.. everything i stupidly allow through my heart's walls... it's all emotional fuckwittage.

and i wish i had nothing to do with it. wish i could just.. block it all out. but there's something dysfunctional about my personal firewall... argh.

okokokokokokok.

enough of all that. emotional fuckwittage though it may be, everyone has to deal with it. and if everyone else can somehow survive dealing with it, then i can too. if not with a little difficulty.

so.

just a few updates on my EXCITING life here in korea..

currently taking (confirmed) 5 modules.. Design, History of Western Architecture, Construction Management (my three compulsory modules..), Korean for Foreigners, and General Structure.

As you all already know.. what with all my gushing... my design tutor is cute. my history tutor is brilliant/lovely (she has a BRIT accent!!! and brit humour and sarcasm and charm and... etc. :p). my construction management tutor is funny/interesting (he types on a word document as he speaks.. so that we can understand him. both us singaporeans AND koreans. :p).

Our korean tutor is a REAL expert on the english language!!! gosh. not that i'm any gauge to go by but.. IN ANY CASE, i didn't even know HALF the stuff about the english language that she explains in class.. in comparison to korean. ahhaha.. (that was a slight quip at her expense.. she says "in any case" like... a million times in a lesson. :p) korean's been a blast. :p i swear i love learning languages. really really think i might be in the wrong degree course. :p

General structure is cool. (cos my cute guy takes it.. haha..) the tutor (the ONLY reason i wanted to take this module... cute guy taking it is a mere bonus. *sheepish grin*) was the structural engineer for Taipei 101.. and he's really... well... he REALLY knows his stuff! and it's a case of... us all (4 of us take this.. harvey, chaur jyh, co seng and i) already knowing the basics.. but... it's still enriching.. and we're still learning new stuff... :) it's cool. (not to mention the fact that i now get to see my cute guy THRICE a week instead of the initial once. hahahha...)

anyhooooow. me heading to london. is a blessing. a HUGE blessing, if i may add. me being able to stopover over in Singapore! is mindblowingly, out-of-this-world-ly awesome. how i ever even managed to be blessed this much (not to mention all the "luck" i've had here in korea....) i will never understand...

it's almost like... now that i've begun serving Him again... in the best way i know how... He's blessing me three-, four-fold... and as undeserving as i am........ i'm just overflowing with gratitude..... then human greed takes over... and i wish, hope and pray that the same blessing can befall me in the case of matters of the heart... i hate it. it's currently top of my "Organs I Hate" list. if not for the fact that it keeps me alive, i'd dump it.

so.. thanks Lord. for everything. enough said.

so. in between having to deal with all the emotional fuckwittage in my life... i've been getting by... with school and life and everything.. and settled in and all.. and i love this campus. i love this experience (once again... something i'm truly truly grateful for). thanks ma and pa... for allowing me this chance.... and while we're at it... thanks for making my london trip (and brief visit home) possible.

alright. been rambling on enough... taken to listening to this nice nice song. a little old now. i guess. but it's beautiful... if not a little saddening... but. being saddening should not stop a song from being recognised for being as nice as it is. :)

so. i leave you all with this... and may everyone be as blessed and as grateful as i.


Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung

I've been
Watching your world from afar
I've been
Trying to be where you are
And I've been
Secretly falling apart
Unseen

To me
You're strange and you're beautiful
You'd be
So perfect with me but you just
Can't see
You turn every head but you don't
See me

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
When I put a spell on you
And when I wake you
I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realise that you love me

Sometimes
The last thing you want comes in first
Sometimes
The first thing you want never comes
But I know
That waiting is all you can do
Sometimes

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
When I put a spell on you
And when I wake you
I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realise that you love me

I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
Cause I put a spell on you
And when I wake you
I'll be the first thing you see
And you'll realise that you love me
Yeah...

autumn sonata...

it's been a while.. been busy with school.. have a lovely belinda-ish tutor for history of western architecture.. and she's lovely!!! think i have a sort of crush on her... miao and i set up an EFC - Eunice Fan Club. haha...

anyway... my studio tutor is cuuuuuuuute... professor han jin taek... he's an architect with Space group.. and he's cool too.. in terms of the perspectives he has and the comments he always has at the end of presentations... (maybe it helps to have cute tutors, you think? :p)

he began studio proper with an essay he wanted us to read...

Chief Seattle's Letter to All People

"The President in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land. But how can you buy or sell the sky? The land? The idea is strange to us. If we do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?

Every part of the earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every meadow, every humming insect. All are holy in the memory and experience of my people.

We know the sap which courses through the trees as we know the blood that courses through our veins. We are part of the earth and it is part of us. The perfumed flowers are our sisters. The bear, the deer, the great eagle, these are our brothers. The rocky crests, the dew in the meadow, the body heat of the pony, and man, all belong to the same family.

The shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not just water, but the blood of our ancestors. If we sell you our land, you must remember that it is sacred. Each glossy reflection in the clear waters of the lakes tells us of events and memories in the life of my people. The water's murmur is the voice of my father's father.

The rivers are our brothers. They quench our thirst. They carry our canoes and feed our children. So you must give the rivers the kindness that you would give any brother.

If we sell you our land, remember that the air is precious to us, that the air shares its spirit with all the life that it supports. The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also received his last sigh. The wind also gives our children the spirit of life. So if we sell you our land, you must keep it apart and sacred, as a place where man can go to taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow flowers.

Will you teach your children what we have taught our children? That the earth is our mother? What befalls the earth befalls all the sons of the earth.

This we know: the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

One thing we know: our God is also your God. The earth is precious to Him and to harm the earth is to heap contempt on its Creator.

Your destiny is a mystery to us. What will happen when the buffalo are all slaughtered? The wild horses tamed? What will happen when the secret corners of the forest are heavy with the scent of many men and the view of the rip hills is blotted with talking wires? Where will the thicket be? Gone. Where will the eagle be? Gone. And what is to say goodbye to the swift pony and then hunt? The end of living and the beginning of survival.

When the last red man has vanished with this wilderness, and his memory is only the shadow of a cloud moving across the prairie, will these shores and forests still be here? Will there be any of the spirit of my people left?

We love this earth as a newborn loves its mother's heartbeat. So, if we sell you our land, love it as we have loved it. Care for it, as we have cared for it. Hold in your mind the memory of the land as it is when you receive it. Preserve the land for all children, and love it, as God loves us.

As we are part of the land, you too are part of the land. This earth is precious to us. It is also precious to you.

One thing we know: there is only one God. No man, be he Red man or White man, can be apart. We ARE all brothers after all."

* * *

i couldnt help feeling so ashamed of myself after reading this. i still feel the shame. what have we been doing to our earth? our earth that has given us so much of itself? and is still continuing to do so?

we learn so much about environmental awareness and sustainability in school, especially for us in architecture. not a day goes by without us having to consider the environmental impact of our designs..... so with all that we have learnt...

what can we offer to our earth?