a time of celebration

this week's been pretty bustling... yes. cos of the new year celebrations that the whole country's so involved in... even our non-Chinese friends have a part to play in them.. :)

funny though.. that i should call it "week" seeing as it's only been two days (make that one day and a morning) into the week... but i guess it's justified since celebrations have been ongoing since... saturday.. :) the usual scrambling to get the home neat and tidy, presentable for "guests" who aren't really all that guesty seeing as they're the closest relatives we have and have seen our home in all prior states of disaster... the helping out to cook lovely lovely peranakan dishes... the last minute rushing to buy stuff - drinks, goodies, ingredients, etc... reunion dinner and catching up with the relatives we were once close to.. but whom are now slightly distant.... one downside of grandparents passing on..... (one more to add to many....)

i miss ah por and ah gong.
i miss hearing her laughter, her cheeky chuckles...
i miss seeing his smile, that makes his eyes disappear....
happy new year ah por, ah gong...
wa nang jing sooi le

being the pig i was... i fell asleep immediately after dinner (not TOO worrying.. since there wasn't much consumed..) awaking only at 230am... spent the morning of chu yi watching *gasp* episodes 5 to 14 of heroes...... what a way to usher in the new year aye? *sheepish grin*

then the traditional bai jia... kneeling to offer blessings and good wishes to our parents... and to receive our red packets too of course... a tradition lost in most families... i mean.. who serves tea and red dates [read: SERVE ie. feeding] while on your knees nowadays?? but tradition for tradition's sake... i can deal with it...

red packets. somehow i've never thought of them as an integral part of lunar new year celebrations. which is somewhat odd i guess.. since... it seems to be that they are the main point of cny for some... do i take them for granted? no. do i not need the money? no.. we can all always use a little extra cash to line our pockets.... yet.. i've always never thought of them as important.... just a bonus to add on to the good food and good company and the opportunity to just.... catch up and have fun with everyone close.... a good excuse to binge... to gamble without appearing to be too much of a gambler.. :)

first days are almost always depressing... don't ask me why.. they just are.
bai jia will last the morning... while gu leh ji and gu leh niao (previously known as gu leh buay.. i've been instructed, after 20 years, to call him uncle small instead of uncle tail... cos it apparently sounds.. bad? *shrug* :)..) and their families (sounds like a lot but is actually only my second uncle, his son, third uncle, his wife and son....:p) ate nice lovely lovely peranakan food whilst waiting.... then they'll all leave for their in laws' or other relatives... and the choos are left stuck at home... snacking on mandarin oranges and new year goodies... chatting.. slacking... until dad decides he's ready to go visiting... this could take any amount of time.. anywhere between one and 4 hours.... then we embark on (before lucille's appearance) a squeezy car ride to the corners of the island... granduncle's wife in ubi, grandaunt in katong... that's usually the extent of our visitation... any attempt on my dad's part to add another [distant] relative to the list usually ends in a chorus of "but we're not even close!" from us sisters..... this year was a little different... "if you want we can go but i'll stay in the car" came from grumpy me......

okay. so maybe i make myself grumpy on first days.... *shrug* it's become a tradition i guess... :p

seeing the extent of our visitation list... second day this year was open house... THIS is tradition too... when all friends and relatives are invited to our home to chou re nao.... the best part of chinese new year if you ask me.... friends of sisters who've watched me grow up... all coming with their respective little families... spouses... who we once knew as boyfriends or girlfriends... first child-s who were all once tiny little sleeping babies, now all running amock chattering away... talking to one another... and with tiny little younger siblings sleeping in maid's arms or buggies.... friends of my own.. from school.... just a handful... to enjoy good food and company....

now i know exactly how it feels when they used to look at me and exclaim, in mock despair,"i feel so old!!!!".......

this year's cny.... quality time spent with sisters and family.... with you..... all the pleasant unplanned encounters.... yeah... i'm blogging about it.. :) because i'm grateful for every second of them all... grateful, thankful....

i love all of you... thanks for being a part of my life... :)

cancelling out

this week's been a bit of a rollercoaster.. one of those mild ones you know? well... it's like.. being a kid on a mild rollercoaster ride... it ain't too rough on you but being a kid it's choppier than you need.... yeah.. that's my week....

it's a rare find... a single week in which you have (almost) the performance of your life... where of all the times you've ever performed.. this one felt the best.. most confident, relaxed, enjoyable and satisfying of all... and better yet, thanks to paul, being able to look back on it to treasure and improve.......

the jc class reunion i always look forward to... where the same anecdotes are repeated but everyone thoroughly enjoys them anyway.. where we see one another grow bit by bit since the last gathering... where we all treasure the opportunity to catch up on one another's lives... when we were once so close... and even the simplest dinner can be transformed into moments you really treasure...

the commercialised valentine's day and its gimmicks... that i refuse to give in to... that i've always refused to give in to... spent working... in great company.... a simple tze cha dinner eaten alongside a couple of unlikely companions, on this day at least.. and for the first time too.. an exciting yet stressful evening.. not exactly wanting to impress.. but definitely not wanting to let down or disappoint.... and it ends up being perhaps the best valentine's i've had........

my double tall 4pumps vanilla no foam latte after a really long day.... not the best i've tasted but... somehow was amazing, felt amazing.. the little pleasures in life....

these were the peaks...

then there were the troughs... of which there were simply too many to list down... that i don't wanna list down... the little disappointments here and there... the little plans you make and gear yourself up for that fall apart.... and leave you wishing it didn't really matter to you... and the feelings of hurt when plans change or get cancelled totally... leaving you trying to understand why... whether it just didn't matter to them... those you were meant to meet... that perhaps this meeting wasn't of importance to them... or at least, not of as much importance to them as it is for you....

then there was interim.

i'm increasingly getting the feeling that singing might be the only thing i'm good at and possibly.. the only thing i'll ever be good at.... some others excel at sports and/or academics... some are so great with their minds, their brilliance is their greatest asset... some others just brim with ideas and creativity...... like it just comes to them... then there are those who are great at ANYTHING and EVERYTHING they set out to do.....

lucky them then...

i'm me.... with only my voice to give my life any worth....... and only my voice for them to be proud of..... well... i guess if my singing brings joy to others, that's good enough... i shouldn't ask for more.....

and there i go ranting and rambling again... my apologies.. it's just i rarely get such a contradicting week... highs and lows all at once.. and sometimes it makes you wonder if they actually cancel out one another.... "life's all about balance".... maybe we need low points to full appreciate and cherish the high points....

whatever it is.. being in architecture's taught me to appreciate the simple things in life.. thanks i guess...

guess i'll sign off with this... no.. not an ego trip... just something i really enjoyed... and brought joy and pride to some others... so maybe it might to you too... *shrug* my one asset.. guess i should share it with those i care about....
http://youtube.com/results?search_query=tiffany+choo

thanks paul.