cancelling out

this week's been a bit of a rollercoaster.. one of those mild ones you know? well... it's like.. being a kid on a mild rollercoaster ride... it ain't too rough on you but being a kid it's choppier than you need.... yeah.. that's my week....

it's a rare find... a single week in which you have (almost) the performance of your life... where of all the times you've ever performed.. this one felt the best.. most confident, relaxed, enjoyable and satisfying of all... and better yet, thanks to paul, being able to look back on it to treasure and improve.......

the jc class reunion i always look forward to... where the same anecdotes are repeated but everyone thoroughly enjoys them anyway.. where we see one another grow bit by bit since the last gathering... where we all treasure the opportunity to catch up on one another's lives... when we were once so close... and even the simplest dinner can be transformed into moments you really treasure...

the commercialised valentine's day and its gimmicks... that i refuse to give in to... that i've always refused to give in to... spent working... in great company.... a simple tze cha dinner eaten alongside a couple of unlikely companions, on this day at least.. and for the first time too.. an exciting yet stressful evening.. not exactly wanting to impress.. but definitely not wanting to let down or disappoint.... and it ends up being perhaps the best valentine's i've had........

my double tall 4pumps vanilla no foam latte after a really long day.... not the best i've tasted but... somehow was amazing, felt amazing.. the little pleasures in life....

these were the peaks...

then there were the troughs... of which there were simply too many to list down... that i don't wanna list down... the little disappointments here and there... the little plans you make and gear yourself up for that fall apart.... and leave you wishing it didn't really matter to you... and the feelings of hurt when plans change or get cancelled totally... leaving you trying to understand why... whether it just didn't matter to them... those you were meant to meet... that perhaps this meeting wasn't of importance to them... or at least, not of as much importance to them as it is for you....

then there was interim.

i'm increasingly getting the feeling that singing might be the only thing i'm good at and possibly.. the only thing i'll ever be good at.... some others excel at sports and/or academics... some are so great with their minds, their brilliance is their greatest asset... some others just brim with ideas and creativity...... like it just comes to them... then there are those who are great at ANYTHING and EVERYTHING they set out to do.....

lucky them then...

i'm me.... with only my voice to give my life any worth....... and only my voice for them to be proud of..... well... i guess if my singing brings joy to others, that's good enough... i shouldn't ask for more.....

and there i go ranting and rambling again... my apologies.. it's just i rarely get such a contradicting week... highs and lows all at once.. and sometimes it makes you wonder if they actually cancel out one another.... "life's all about balance".... maybe we need low points to full appreciate and cherish the high points....

whatever it is.. being in architecture's taught me to appreciate the simple things in life.. thanks i guess...

guess i'll sign off with this... no.. not an ego trip... just something i really enjoyed... and brought joy and pride to some others... so maybe it might to you too... *shrug* my one asset.. guess i should share it with those i care about....
http://youtube.com/results?search_query=tiffany+choo

thanks paul.