freedom

crap.

that's currently the thing i most feel like. don't ask me how or why. it just is.

freedom is meant to bring with it all sorts of joy, excitement, exhilaration...
it always has for me.. till now....

i'm depressing.. i know.. seem to have been quite alot recently... and not out of choice either... it's just.. i constantly have so much on my mind nowadays... and without meaning to too.....

it's no wonder there are people out there in the world who are driven to drugs and alcohol to numb the drumming, suicide to end it.... it's quite understandable...

NO. i'm not saying i'm thinking of it... i just know how it can be... so consuming... it can overwhelm you without you really knowing...

but i won't allow it to consume me. there are a million things in my life to be thankful and grateful for... and i AM thankful and grateful... i just need to keep reminding myself of that.. instead of dwell on all the possibilities........

i'm free..... you'll be soon... i just hope we have time to share this newfound freedom.....