the end

i sit here... typing at a quarter to 2... my last examination for this semester a mere 7hours away... and strangely enough, all i can think about is how to organise my time over the next few weeks.... how to go about spending time with the people i love.....

what do you do when you have a fear? a fear of something that might happen say..... within the year? something that is semi under your control and yet, knowing full well you don't want it to happen, you might just let it anyway.... even if it could be one of your greatest fears.... you might just let it anyway...... because it might be what's meant to be.... or.. in this case, what's NOT meant to be...

yeah.. the age-old cliche... the classic breakup line... the loser's line of resignation.... a friend's trying to be nice....

"it wasn't meant to be"

is it ever true? do we know for sure? will we ever?

and so i go about thinking... not something i can help frankly... and i try not to think about what lies ahead.... which is tough.. me being such a planner... i can't go a week without planning at least 4meets be they coffee sessions, mahjong, movie, dinner.... i've always kept myself busy... always... it's been that way for as long as i can remember... to stop myself thinking.... as i'm trying to do now....stop myself thinking about what might happen in a couple of months.... half a year... at the turn of the new year........

i TRY not to think about it.

that doesn't mean i succeed....

so my decision.. is to enjoy the next couple of months... make it worth the while.... worth our while.......
and i say....... the ending should be good.. if it ends......
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i just hope it doesn't.